Relationship Advice: "Heal your inner child first"

I feel all people must work through their woundedness to be able to love fully. All healing comes from within. I am skeptic about people who say they can help you heal, because HOW can you heal what you are not conscious of? Real healing is, in my opinion, bringing consciousness to areas of ones life that one was not aware of before. The healing of the inner child is especially important, because if you don’t heal your inner child, all the things you do as an adult will be based on the wounded inner child. It is important to try to see and understand that you did in fact choose your earth family for growth purposes.
 
You must try to heal the difficult times you have gone through in life to become your full self again. You must free yourself from the “limitations” that the interactions with your earth family can have placed on you. When we interact with other people, or people close by such as family members we tend to see ourselves through the eyes of the people that were there when we grew up. When you set the inner child free and become fully yourself, you finally leave the nest and become an adult fully in touch with yourself, listening carefully to the inner child’s wise advice to you.
 
Love is not meant to be expressed out of woundedness, but out of fullness. It is actually the woundedness that often prevents people from fully uniting, because as long as they are wounded inside, they are not free to be fully themselves. The woundedness blinds you from seeing who you really are and to be that person. The most important gift that a child and newborn baby can be given in this world is that the parents understand that the spirit and soul of this baby is an intelligent being that existed before it entered this world. This soul and spirit must be given the opportunity in the physical world to express its Self and Soul freely without limitations.
 
We are all souls, but woundedness takes a longer time to work through, and therefore healing is even more essential. Releasing Feelings, Anger, Hurt, Insecurities and Pain From Childhood to Heal and To Feel Fully. The inner child needs immediate healing. The cry of the wounded inner child and the reactions to being wounded makes people with wounded inner children reach out for outer relationships to fill the gap they feel missing inside themselves. In our world as it is today it has often been the wounded inner children that have been in relationship with each other based on wounds from their childhood that they did not heal.
 
There has been an intense mirroring between people and their wounded pasts from childhood. Therefore, although a sexual and romantic relationship has been between two physical adults, it has actually been their wounded inner children interacting in a dysfunctional relationship. People often fear their anger because in our time and age feelings have been repressed, but to heal all feelings must be felt and lived through including the anger. We attract what we are ourselves, so to be able to attract a full and complete person, we must heal inner wounds in ourselves, heal the self fully to be able to be in a relationship based on love and not based on past wounds.
 
Releasing the painful feelings need to be done in a healthy way which means that we need to have understanding of our own feelings of anger and then go to a place and cry them all out. Releasing all difficult and painful feelings will lead the soul to a place of tranquility and peace. You will finally be able to see yourself for who you are because you don’t have the repressed feelings standing in your way for being your full and complete Self. The merging with the twin soul will ”force” people to go through a deep inner healing and the twin soul relationship with two whole individuals is based on two people who have gone through a difficult inner healing process in order for them to be together.
Understanding Your Unconscious, Psychological “Make-Up”, so you can be free to be in relationship.

Unconsciously people also tend to work out emotional and tensed relationships with parents and childhood issues with partners in adult life. In order to be fully free to be with the twin soul or a soul mate and NOT bring painful issues to the relationship, people need to recognize if and when they might have been seriously wounded by their parents in some ways, because their parents could be wounded too in their upbringing. If for instance a woman did not get the attention or love she had hoped for from her father, she tends to either search for men who are like her father who give her very little attention and therefore she continues to search for the attention she didn’t get from men who are emotionally unavailable or she might search for the opposite in men and try by all means to get everybody’s attention.
 
This is was just one example. There are others and I am sure you can come up with others if you deeply examine yourself and your past relationships. Searching for attention trying to get somebody else to meet your needs is not the way to go if you want a meaningful relationship in the outer sense. You can very well understand that if you are to be in a relationship with your twin soul, you need to understand your unconscious, psychological pattern and mechanism well, so you can be free to be in the relationship, and not have past wounds you unconsciously try to work out through the relationship.
 
If you are in a relationship with your twin soul and have not faced these wounds, everything could be magnified and felt. Things could get intense and there might be a constant flow of energy back and forth between the two of you where each feels the other person’s wounds and traumas. Therefore, by getting to the heart of the matters and understanding yourself deeply you can begin to attract meaningful relationships to you that reflect WHO you are at the very level of your soul.

Getting closer to the twin soul can only happen in one way and that is working on ones own individual self and growth. When we work on healing our individual selves, healing wounds from the past, we get into alignment with our Higher Self, Creative Center, and Spiritual Power. The world is so imbalanced this day today with so much separation because people both in personal relationships and worldwide try to fix other people in the outer sense to get some kind of inner peace and balance. This will never work out, we need to hold ourselves responsible for our own inner selves and lives.
 
We will never be able to fix other people, because even in trying to do this, we do not realize that we hold other people responsible for our own misfortune and we cannot change our own personal lives as long as we focus too much on other people and their roles in our lives. A dysfunctional relationship is a relationship that is not giving to the soul. It drains you energetically and keeps you emotionally distracted from your own inner self. In facing a dysfunctional relationship you need to ask yourself why you allow another person to disrespect your boundaries and the essence of your being.
 
You need to ask yourself why you cannot be honest with yourself and why a disrespectful relationship is good enough for you? If you want to unite with your twin soul in the outer sense, you must first align with your own inner self and be able to live a satisfying and full relationship with yourself. If you don’t have a full and giving relationship with yourself where you respect your own boundaries, wishes and hopes for your life, you will draw people into your life in the outer sense in forms of dysfunctional relationships that reflect your own inner imbalance.